I woke up between 2 to 3 am this morning with something on my mind. I feel a very strong need to share this for some reason. The Holy Spirit is leading me even as I write. Perhaps there is someone reading this who needs to hear it.
Our lives are filled with good things, bad things, with many trials and tribulations. God knows that I’ve had my share of tribulations. In fact, just a few short years ago, not even that long, He allowed me to become “broken”. He brought me to my knees in humility, humbleness, and in great pain and suffering.
I shall not go into the details of why this happened, maybe someday I will. But believe me when I say, that the Lord must have really wanted me back. You see, I was a prodigal son, disobedient, not walking with God. Oh yeah, I would come back home every now and then, but not for long. I was not raised in a Christian home, I wasn’t sure what being a Christian really meant. Not until a few short years ago.
I became severely depressed and had severe anxiety. The pain became too much for me to bear. Even with all of the medications that the doctors put me on, I was numb emotionally as well as physically, but still in pain, still depressed. I had suicidal thoughts, thoughts of driving my car off of the freeway into a tree or a large rock, maybe of driving off of a bridge. I hit bottom, rock bottom. I was at the lowest of lows.
All alone in my apartment, I literally dropped to the floor on my knees, bowing down to God, I cried out as tears streamed down my face: “Why Lord, why me? What did I do to deserve this? I don’t know where to go or what to do Lord? Please help me! I’m sorry for turning away from you. I can’t do this on my own, help me God! Jesus I need you!”
Immediately I felt a rush of energy fill my entire being, surround my body, my spirit and my soul. I felt the weight of a thousand bricks being lifted off of my back and my shoulders. I felt God with me and in me. I heard Him speaking to me (not out loud), saying: “Welcome home son. Do not worry or fear for I am with you. I love you dearly. I shall carry your burden upon my shoulders. I will help you and protect you.”
Needless to say, I continued to worship and thank the Lord. The Lord had anointed me with His Holy Spirit. It was a very strong feeling which lasted like that for at least eight months or more, then slowly dissipated. However, I continue to feel Him, to hear Him, and to be guided by Him. The Lord has given me His peace and comfort. He has healed me of my depression and anxiety. After being filled with the Holy Spirit, it took me one month to wean myself off of all the medications (would have been sooner, but you need to gradually cut back for medical reasons). I have been medication free ever since! No doctors, no counselors, only Jesus!
That all happened just before God told me to start this website, to lead the lost to salvation, to warn the world of the closeness of His return. I told Him that I knew nothing about blogs. He told me that He would guide me through it. The rest is history. Last week this blog hit one million views, not a small milestone! All of the glory to God! Without Him it would not have been possible. Without Him I would not, could not have done any of this. I would not have even thought of doing this!
I still have tribulation, I still have the burden over me. But, Jesus is carrying the load for me. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He continues to give me peace, comfort, and rest. Without Him I would be unable to cope, unable to carry on with life on a daily basis. The Lord is good, He is loving, and He is merciful. I’m not perfect, I still make mistakes, I struggle with temptations, yet I’m forgiven. I do my best to live a godly life, to walk with the Lord daily, to keep Him close to my heart.
I wrote a post shortly after being anointed with the Holy Spirit, actually about four or five months after. This is how I felt, this is the love of God that I felt within me. It’s a rather long post, but I feel that it’s important to share with you again. I named it “Love, do you feel it?”
It’s very difficult to describe the feeling of being filled with the Holy Spirit of God. To feel His love filling your entire being, surrounding you with His loving arms. This is God. This is who He is. He is love.
If you are feeling alone, depressed, anxious, or maybe having suicidal thoughts, just know that God is here. Know that He loves you dearly, more than you could ever imagine! He wants you to come running home to Him, and He will embrace you with open arms. He will give you peace and comfort. He loves you, I love you! You are not alone. Jesus wants to help you, to carry your burden upon His shoulders. To free you from bondage, from pain, from suffering.
All you have to do is believe in Him and accept Him as your Lord and Savior. It will cost you nothing. He paid the price for us, it’s a gift of love, of grace and mercy. We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We all go through trials and tribulations. God uses this pain and suffering to bring us to our knees. To bring us to the lowest of lows, in order for us to know that we cannot do it on our own. He allows it to happen to bring us to Him. So that we can love Him back, the way He loves us, unconditionally!
If you do not yet know Jesus, then believe in Him and what He has done for us (dying on the cross for our salvation), and accept Him as your Lord and Savior! Do it now! Why wait until it’s too late?
God Bless my friends! Until next time….